"No one ever said it was easy"
-Coldplay The Scientist- (unless im confusing it with somrthing else, let me know.)
Hmm well italics seem 2 be working on this computer.But honestly id rather have aim and Wow and my own bed than the hospital and italics 4 my xanga  .
Yep im back at the hospital just for 3days though so i should be
leaving tommorow morning (came in monday). Actually pretty standard
especially in the first 3 months they all warned me that this was
something that frequeantly happen but its annoying none the less.Came
in monday 4 the usuall check-up and the biopsy (thats when they go in
with a neelde and take out a small pice of ur heart). Hadnt been great
the past few days i thought it was a cold they thought it was
rejection. So they decided thyey were gonna keep me for the 3 days 2
give me the iv steroids (standard rejection treatment) i said how bout
waiting 4 the biopsy results cause everyone i asked including the
doctor who said it was rejection said that a cold or other mild
infection aka flu fever could and would cause the same symptoms.
But better safe than sry and all that jazz so monday evening finds me
in a hospital bed. tuesday afternoon finds the biopsy results guess wat
boys and girls no rejection  .
But of course theyd all rdy started the steroids and its possible so
might as well finish the job so im here till tomorow morning . yipee .
Realized and been realizing many things cant possibly explain them
all dont quite undertand them all myself yet. But one thing im slowly
beggining 2 understand is just how weak i really was b4 (the heart
transplant 4 those who r confused). Honestly ill never understand how i
got through the last 3 yrs as well as i did. And now when i think
of wat i might have been able 2 do with those 3 yrs had it not been 4
ple it makes me kinda sad. I guess i never really accepted it or
admited it b4 but now its suddenly sort of hit me; i had a disease and
a bad one,one that could and did kill ppl and 1 that no one really new
anything difinitive about and who could blame them about 10,000ppl in
america have had my operation ( the original 1) and 10% of those get
ple thats no exaclty much of a data base. And one that could have
eventually killed me and was weakening me day by day.
Stange i never really thought of myself that way until now looking
back on it all. But its not quite over. When i first got out of the
hospital i felt great and i still do but the past week and especially
being brought back 2 the hospital has made me realize that recovery
will not be quick or easy. Its going 2 take time and work and patience.
I only mind the time how much more time is this all gonna take/waste
and wat am i going 2 lose or miss in the process? But as long as i am
moving forward though minor setbacks r inevedible life is very good and
ive got a lot of make up 2 do      .
In other news stopped by the corner on wendsday (or was it
thursday?) was pretty cool . ( I was the guy in the mask 4 those who
were confused). Anyway that was really awesome seein all u guys:
Jano, Annie, Zak, John, Will, Ryan, Irena, Troy, Kenya, Tiff, Yeidy,
Matt,Sam very sorry if i forgot any1 but if i did its only because of
the steroids :). missed some ppl though max (but i saw u over the
weekend so its ok) lyl (no ziggy zah  ) jackie (u were probably at the musical rehearsel good girl) nef ( wats ur exscuse 
jk) Poornima (u involved in the musical 2?!) kendall (do u still come 2
the corner?) Joe (i no u aint in the musical!) and im sure there were
others. well perhaps next time. It was strange seeing the corner it
seemed like nothing had changed (im not sure wat i expected 2 have
changed) but it was just the same old group doin its same old thang and
it was stange, nice but 4 some reason felt kinda strange.
Again i play a waiting game
Only this one isn't quite the same
Instead of waiting as i drain
I wait you see as i regain.
Another long entry but im bored hell wat else do u expect me 2 do here? |